Life Sucks

Life has been pretty hectic recently - well what's new??

Monkey had a bad head injury while playing rugby in the middle of December at school - this resulted in him being admitted to hospital overnight with talk at the start of him being transferred to the local neurological centre if things didn't improve - being a nurse in A&E and listening to what they weren't saying was scary. Luckily, he was much better the following day, but we are 2 and a half months down the road and he still gets headaches and takes analgesia each day.

I resigned from the role of District commissioner - I was actually very disappointed by my County Commissioner's reply to my resignation. The two Guide companies which initiated  my resignation are still being allowed to run in a way which is not appropriate but I will say that after the Treasurer from the Scout and Guide Hut rang County HQ and made the situation very clear from his point of view and the fact that the rent for the current year (£1000) for the two units has still not been paid and that there has been no effort by them to pay the £1800 still owed from previous years in a half hour conversation with them, things have finally moved forward. The two leaders have been given ultimatums which should have been completed by this coming Monday. Although I don't have the right to know what is going on, the person who is going to take on the challenge of being DC had stated that she would not take on the role unless the Guide units have been sorted, is keen to keep me up to date, so hopefully I will know what has happened - I will be honest, it's killing me not knowing!!

Work has been hard - so much to do, not enough hours in the day to do it all, humiliation by a consultant via a global email (mind you my boss was great and soon slapped them down!!), a new job description which has me banded to a higher grade but it just reflects everything I am currently doing.

Last week, I was in Edinburgh studying haemophilia - all part of my new job description - and had my phone stolen from my bag while waiting at the bus stop. I have never felt so cut off from things before - Monkey is in Italy skiing with the Army and it was the only contact number they had for me if anything happened! Things were soon sorted, but I don't want to go back there in a hurry I can tell you!

We have Pack Holiday planned for 3 weeks time - I'm not prepared at all. I can't seem to get my head around anything outside of work at the moment and things will only get worse as I need to complete my independent nurse prescribers course which I have been told will take over my life completely for 6 months - I am worried.

I am the only leader who attends every week - the others attend every other week at the most but then don't turn up until after the meeting time starts so often leaving me with just the girls and the young leaders, which is not good from a safe guarding point of view.

I feel that I don't have a handle on anything at the moment and that I am going to loose the plot at some point and that may be very soon the way things are going!

Good things have happened too though - my best friend and I have reconnected recently, although she has shocked me more than ever with some of her antics, but there's nothing new in that! We have met up for afternoon tea a couple of times and now have a fixed date once a month to do it which will give me some "me" time.

I'm also meeting up with my friends from Centenary Camp in 2010. We have all met up quite a bit in the past 12 months but since we left Leeds in 2010, we have never all been together at the same time. So at the beginning of April all of us will be meeting up and staying together in Leeds. That is something I am really looking forward to it.

I'm sure things will sort themselves out and get better - they always do. I just wish I could miss out the crap bit once in a while and just have a good journey instead :)

And so the deed is done.........

I have done it - I have resigned as District Commissioner. It wasn't pretty, I can tell you.
I went to see my Division Commissioner about something completely different and it all just blurted out!!
Mind you, I did feel much better for it I can tell you. I then went home and emailed the County Commissioner who to be honest didn't seem all that bothered about it - which has me worried about what has been going on behind my back - have I ever told you that I am a tad bit paranoid at times??
Less than 5 days later,  a letter drops through my door "FYI" which is a copy of the letter sent to all of the leaders in the District saying that as my time nears its end, she would like someone to step up and take on the role - not a word about me resigning a year early.
We are now almost 4 weeks down the line and not a single person has stepped forward or been nominated as far as I know.
Kelloggsville even went as far as to suggest in a letter to the County Commissioner that our District would be better off split into the 2 villages with the workload being shared between the leaders instead of having a DC. Not sure if she has even had a reply about that one!
So, my housekeeping for the DC is well on its way - I have asked for the annual reports of the 12 Units to be emailed to me before Christmas - so far I have had 1 emailed back and my own unit - no change there then. I have reminded them all that they need to keep GO! up to date (that is when it's not having a major outage which does not help things I might add) and that their accounts need to be audited by an independent person and  a copy of a signed summary given to the Division Commissioner before the end of January 2014 - good luck is what I say. I still haven't seen either of the Guide Units accounts from the other village for this year yet!
We have a social event planned for the beginning of January, So far only the usual people have signed up to come along - oh well, we will have some fun I know.
I am counting the days - 22 to go - I do not have a big countdown on the wall of my office - honest!
I am looking forward to some quality time - I may even find some extra time to write on here more often - you never know :)

The Time Has Come ..........

I've reached that stage in life where I am fast approaching burnout!!

Work is going in directions I never thought it would go - meetings in the Houses of Parliament, presenting at national and international conferences, attending conferences in different countries!

Home life seems to be so busy - I thought that when Monkey was this age, our problems with childcare would be non-existent, that's not the problem, it's getting him to everything he wants to go to that is the problem!

Guiding seems to be taking up too much of my time - running my brownie pack each week and then being District Commissioner on top of that has me torn between where I should be and supporting what I ask myself. The Big Brownie Birthday is starting in January - to be honest I have no idea what is going on when previously I would be all set up and raring to go.

Something has to give - work isn't an option due to the small matter of needing to earn a wage, giving monkey up for adoption seems so tempting when we are having problems with him, but no! that isn't an option either!

The only other thing that can go is Guiding! But this is such a large part of my life! To be honest, I think I could cope with just being Brown Owl again - no meetings for this, that and the other to go to, stressing about back rent at the Scout and Guide Hut, stressing about 2 rogue Guide Leaders who seem to be able to charm their way out of anything and everything and push the blame on to others (namely me I might add) and despite being given ultimatums by the Assistant County Commissioner still seem to be in post despite missing them by 6 months and counting.

So my choice is made - January the 1st 2014 will see me resign with immediate effect from my District Commissioner role - that will be about an extra 24 hours a month I will gain back - not much in the grand scheme of things but if it means that I don't have to rush home and rush straight back out again within 10 minutes and gives me more time to spend with hubby (who's mantra is "work, brownies, social then us") then that makes me (and him) a happy person!!

 

I want more of these days - who wouldn't!!!

That can't be right???

My weight has always been a problem for me and since Christmas last year I have been going to Weight Watchers most weeks in an attempt to finally shift some of my weight for good.

To say that it's been a struggle is an understatement  I can tell you! I have found it very difficult but have a couple of friends who are very positive for me and have helped me lots and lots!

I have sat around the 1 stone 4 - 1 stone 8 mark weight loss now for about 10 weeks. I have been up and down but can never seem to get the weight loss to stay off. I've even joined Zumba classes in an attempt to shift a bit more - I would love to be another dress size smaller by Christmas.

2 weeks ago I went and I had lost 5lb - wow. What had I done differently? I had tracked everything. I carried on the same way for the following week and when I was weighed, I had put on4 1/2lbs - I was like "what"????

So this past week, I have been slightly disheartened but have done my best to track, I have walked about as much as usual at work and even had half a bottle of wine at the weekend too. Got on the scales last night with my leader - 8lb off!!! I am now 2lbs away form my second stone and that would also bring me to my 10% weight loss -its taken me 11 months to get here but that goal seems very close.

The thing is, I know that no matter how good I am this week, I am sure to have put weight back on again next week - my body is strange!!

On the dress size front though? I have just dropped 4 dress sizes for work and my shirt size has gone from a size 28 (always bought big so that it would hide my hips) to a size 16/18 depending on the shop I'm buying from!

I do feel good!!

Will keep you updated with how I go

I should be happy - shouldn't I?????

I've just had a lovely weekend away with my friends from Centenary Camp - it's the second time this year that we've managed to get together which is amazing really as we all lead busy busy lives!!

It was a busy week before I went away - two District meetings and then trying to get everything done on Friday night which I would normally take the weekend to do.

I caught the train to London and met up with 3 of the friends - the 4th one was getting in later. I had to carry my backpack with me all around London as we were staying in our Evil Team Leader's flat in Wimbledon and weren't going back there until later on. We walked everywhere (well it seemed like it!!) and finally ended up in Soho for our tea.

 

 

 

Having never been to this part of London, it certainly was an eye-opener!! We ended up in an Italian restaurant as one of our group didn't like spicy food so it rather narrowed our choice! Mind you the food was great - they served our pizza on a meter-long wooden board!!

 

After tea we made our way out to Wimbledon and to the flat we would be staying in. We stopped off in the local supermarket to get some wine and chocolate  - they were running low on supplies from the night before!!

 

We then spent the rest of the night talking and mulling life in general over - of the 5 of us who were there out of the 7 that could have met up I was the eldest with the youngest being just 22!!

 

We also realised that we had actually only know each other a total of 13 nights but just feel like we are really great friends.

 

2am came and went and we finally managed to crawl into our beds. One of the group had to leave at 7.30 the next morning but she was very quiet when she got up and only woke us as she was about to leave.

 

The rest of us sat chatting and then made the move to cook breakfast and shower - I had to leave about 10.45 to get back to St Pancras to catch my train home at 12.

 

When I got back, all was happy with the boys - there's a lot of teenage angst going on at the moment and my son and husband do clash a lot - but they had had a great "boys night in" with a DVD and a few snacks. Tea was all ready to go in the oven and I had nothing to do except unpack and relax!

 

Work today has been busy, deadlines to meet and only me to meet them - but what's new??

 

Went to Fat Club this evening feeling like I have really put on some weight, although I have been good (well almost) for the past week and found out that I have lost another 5 lb, so I am now at my lightest in many years.

 

But I just seem really down - I can't seem to be happy about anything at the moment.

 

I need to shake myself up and get back on track - there is lots in my life at the moment to be happy about, I just need to remember it!

 

Normal service will resume soon I hope :)

Times change

Just Small Thank You

this link talks about how I didn't like my son to play with guns when he was little - this photo shows you how times change!!

Hello Stangers!!

So, another 9 months have passed and I still haven't found the time to write a post!

Life for me continues to be very hectic - work seems to be getting busier and there is still only me with no admin support (I only want someone to work for 4 hours a day to help with all the paperwork!!), being District Commissioner again is just as bad as it was the first time round and with the Brownie Centenary celebrations being launched, I really have no time for myself or my family!

I have however made a concerted effort to look at my lifestyle and with that in mind I took myself off to Weightwatchers (again!) and although I have only lost just over a stone since Christmas, I have just got to my 5th dress size smaller - so I feel very pleased with myself.

This was me outside No.10 in 2011

 

And this was me outside No.10 two weeks ago!

 

So, I do feel better with myself! I still have a long way to go, but I will keep at it. Zumba has been a great help, but I have also been walking much more that I have ever had even to the point where I have taken myself off early in the morning to walk the fields and canals around here - something unheard of if you ask my family!!

 

Brownies seem to have taken over my life - which it shouldn't have with so many leaders at our unit but I maybe need to look at letting bits of it go and delegating more - I find it difficult to do this but the way I feel about having no time for me, then I need to make this a priority!

 

My son has just moved on to Explorers and is wanting to go to the World Scout Jamboree in Japan in 2015 - if he makes it through the selection weekend then we will have to find  approximately £3500 - that's a lot of fundraising!

 

He has also been in Army Cadets for over a year now and has been on a canoe camp, a weekend away and his annual camp. He has just applied for a skiing holiday for next February too which we should find out sometime this week if he has a place on this - more money!!

 

He has however made the decision to join the Army when he leave school - he wants to go to the Army Foundation College in Harrogate and complete his education there and then go straight in to the Army when he finishes that! It's great that he knows what he wants to do when he leaves school, but to be honest this really frightens me - maybe its because I'm his mum and to me he will always be my baby (he does however stand at over 6 feet tall and has size 12 shoes and he only turned 14 the week before last!!)

 

As parents we have always said that we would support him whatever he wants to do, so I just have to bite my tongue and smile and say " great idea monkey - lets see what we have to do to get you in there!"

 

Well that's my life in a concise nutshell, hopefully I will find a bit more time to write more posts as the weeks go on.

 

Have fun my friends :)